Erschöpfte FrauDie Kinder betreuen, im Job volle Leistung bringen, den Haushalt und Garten managen, alle Termine der Familie organisieren, soziale Kontakte pflegen, Ehrenämter, eine liebevolle Mutter und tolle Ehefrau sein, sportlich und gesund ernähren, vielleicht auch noch die kranken Eltern pflegen…die Liste ist schier endlos. Eine aktuelle Studie des Müttergenesungswerks zeigt auf, dass immer mehr Frauen (und zunehmend auch Männer) angesichts der hohen Belastungen total erschöpft sind. Die Zahl der Mütter, die eine Mutter-Kind-Kur beantragen, steigt kontinuierlich, letztes Jahr waren es 49.000 Mütter. Umfragen zufolge sind in Deutschland rund 2 Mio. der etwa 8 Mio. Mütter mit minderjährigen Kindern kurbedürftig. Doch weniger als 5% können oder wollen sich eine Auszeit nehmen.

Was belastet die Mütter am meisten?

Der ständige Zeitdruck, das „funktionieren-müssen“ und berufliche Belastungen. Hinzu kommen Geldsorgen, Erziehungsprobleme und Ärger mit dem Partner. Bei neun von zehn Frauen, die eine Mutter-Kind-Kur gemacht haben, wurden schwere Erschöpfungszustände, Depressionen, Angst- und Schlafstörungen festgestellt.

Welche Ursachen gibt es?

Parallel zum Anstieg der Frauenerwerbstätigkeit ist der Anspruch an Mutterschaft und Kindererziehung gewachsen. Frauen stehen heutzutage unter einem besonderen Erwartungsdruck. Sie sollen oder wollen nach der Babypause möglichst schnell wieder zurück in den Job, wollen trotzdem viel für die Kinder da sein, bei den Hausaufgaben helfen, fördern durch Sport- und Musikangebote incl. Fahrdienste, kreative Kindergeburtstage planen, einzigartige Schultüten selber basteln, verantwortungsbewusst einkaufen, gesund kochen, den tollsten Kuchen fürs Schulbuffett zaubern, den Nachwuchs mit selbstgenähter Kleidung beglücken und und und…Oftmals ist es der immer höher werdende Anspruch an sich selbst und ihr Perfektionismus, der den Frauen zu schaffen macht. Wenn zum „ganz normalen Wahnsinn“ noch anderes hinzukommt, wie z.B. Ärger mit dem Chef, Schulprobleme der Kinder, Stress oder eine Trennung vom Partner oder Tod der Eltern, droht eine totale Erschöpfung.

Welche Auswege und Lösungen bieten sich an? 

Neben notwendiger Entlastungen seitens der Politik und des Bildungssystems finde ich wichtig, dass Frauen ihre eigenen Bedürfnisse erkennen und für sich einstehen. Dass sie rechtzeitig um Hilfe bitten, wenn sie merken, dass es zuviel wird. Den eigenen Anspruch herunterschrauben und ehrlich mit sich sein („Wofür ist das jetzt gerade wichtig?“) Sich ein gutes Netzwerk aufbauen, in dem man sich gegenseitig unterstützt. Für kleine Auszeiten sorgen und sie alleine oder mit dem Partner genießen. Manchmal reicht schon ein abendlicher Spaziergang, ein Treffen mit einer Freundin oder ein Besuch im Fitnessstudio, um den Akku wieder aufzuladen. Sich die Hausarbeit untereinander aufteilen (wurden die Rollen in der Partnerschaft thematisiert?) oder eine Reinigungskraft leisten, ein festes Budget für einen Babysitter. Regelmäßige Entspannungsübungen, Yoga, Meditation, Musik hören, ein Buch lesen oder ein ausgiebiges Bad wirken ebenfalls Wunder.

Wichtig finde ich auch, sich die Zeit zu nehmen für eine Lebensbilanz:
  • Was habe ich von meinen Träumen und Zielen bisher erreicht?
  • Was tut mir gut und macht mich glücklich?
  • Was möchte ich im Leben noch erreichen?
  • Welche Werte sind mir wichtig?
  • Wie zufrieden bin ich mit meinem Job?
  • Was sind meine nächsten Ziele und die Zwischenschritte?

Denn wenn ich weiß, worauf ich hinarbeite, lässt sich manches besser ertragen. Und wenn Träume und Wünsche zur Realität werden, entsteht große Freude und Zufriedenheit.

Stellen Sie sich doch einmal die obigen Fragen und beantworten sie am besten schriftlich. Und wenn Sie dabei Unterstützung wünschen, sprechen Sie mich gerne an.

Herzliche Grüße

Ihre Anke Ziemer

Quellenangaben: Hamburger Abendblatt und Müttergenesungswerk

Foto über pixabay, Claudia24

Ausgebrannte Mütter- eine Bilanz

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